its not over til the fat girl cries

Her days are filled with chesed
She’s called on in times of need
She visits the sick and lonely
The hungry she does feed

She drives them to their appts
To the hospitals and back
She helps the teens at risk
To get them back on track

The neighbors all know they can call
Any time- morning or night
Her friends are driven to the airport
So they can catch their flight

Her siblings all call on her
When they need her she is there
her nieces phone her in distress
For help with clothing or hair

For everyone around her
Shes the go-to one
For any type of pick me up
Or just to have some fun

Yet when it comes to shidduchim
Here’s what she has found
None of this is important
If you gained an extra pound

You can be the top girl all around
With all the proper stuff
Yet if you are not thin, a perfect size 6
The rest is not enough

weight

I went out for lunch recently with 3 friends. After a very satisfying meal we picked up pastries from the bakery and headed to my house to eat them while playing a game. It was during the game that I looked around me at all these thin girls with the realization that they all just ate the same amount as I did. Yet they all had the bodies considered ideal while I, lets just say, don’t. They are able to eat without a thought, they don’t exercise and while I try to make wise food choices and exercise religiously, I will never be as thin as they are. Which made me think… why am I expected to work to look like their body type? They are built one way, I another. Why is theirs considered superior? Why are men allowed to expect me to look this way? Why do I feel guilty when I eat what they eat freely? I try to stay within a healthy range, and exercise to keep my heart pumping but more than that is just getting caught up with what society has dictated to be right. If my body is unable to process foods in the same manner as theirs why am I looked on as if I did something wrong? I hate that we have all become so weight conscious and that at times I still allow myself to get swept up in the madness. But my daily struggle at this point is not to cut down on high calorie foods but rather to stop caring about its effects.