Tuesday, September 14, 2010

rosh hashana thoughts

Just spoke to a friend, reminiscing about this time last year. Over last succos I got to meet the guy she was seriously dating. Now, a year later she is very pregnant. (Yes, I know you are either pregnant or not, no varying levels). She commented on how much has changed in one year. And while I outwardly agreed with her internally I was focused on how much has stayed the same for me. In one year that she has gone from being single to engaged to married and now nearing the birth of her child I have remained single. Dateless and hopeless. And while I can be grateful for all the good in my life I can also take this time to wallow in self pity. For a year gone by without a date, without a chance, without feeling any closer to my goal.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

picky? or realistic?

I was recently called by a stranger and set up with a guy. Although he gave me references to check with (all happened to be his own relatives) I decided not to use them and instead began asking around. I asked many singles, I asked people from his neighborhood. I had people asking people. But no-one had heard of him. Meanwhile upon hearing this story a friend took it upon herself to do the research herself. She began calling the references and reported back with nice information. Still I was hesitant. Why doesn’t anyone know him? He is in a service industry, people can know him that way. Girls who date anyone and everyone didn’t know him. I was bothered. The shadchan called again and upon my telling him my reservations he responded, “well he’s not mordechai ben david!”. This saga continued. My friend called me a few nights ago and said I hear hes a real mentch. What more do you want? This is the point where I can hear the tone – “oh she’s so picky”. I said I want common ground. I want someone who knows me to say yes, this is worth a shot. She decided on her own that she would speak to him directly. Late last night I received a text “just had a phone date with so and so. Hes not for you”. He may be nice he may be well liked but some things are just not evident until you speak to the person directly. Its not being picky. Its being realistic.