Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Earlier in the summer 3 of my friends went on vacation. Upon hearing of their plans I was hurt that I was not informed or included. I decided to say something to one of them and that clearly changed our friendship. She ignored me for the next week or so after which time we began to once again keep in touch but it was every few weeks or so rather than every few days. I also stopped having any expectations of her and did not initiate any plans.
Tonight this friend emailed and called me to try to make shabbos plans. Although I have options to choose from already I was ready to include her in my plans as I would hate for her to not have where to go. Towards the end of the conversation she mentioned that she had once again gone away with the other friend. This leads me to a couple of questions: a. am I so horrible to spend time with and dare she come to me for plans when I am clearly not wanted in hers?
I am hurt and upset.


  1. A. No, you aren't.
    B. After all these years, I realize that often it's not that you ( in a general sense of the word) aren't wanted. You just aren't 'in the front lines' at the time an event happened and are hence overlooked or forgotten. It doesn't always make me feel better but it sometimes helps me put things into perspective...

  2. but if i told her the first time it happened how hurt i was and how much i wanted a vacation, the "forgot" excuse just doesnt cut it