Friday, July 3, 2009
As a member of the shidduch CRISIS (love the term!) I am always appreciative of speakers who push for the singles. I listen to many torah tapes in the car and one rabbi in particular is always standing up for the singles. He encourages his audience to set them up and to invite them for shabbos meals. As nice as it is that he is instructing the public on how to act towards these poor nebach souls, I began to wonder how the singles themselves are supposed to behave. Who speaks to us? From where do we get chizzuk and advice? A plan began to form in my head. I mentioned the idea to my friend who in turn mentioned it t the rebetzin of a shul who willingly allowed free usage of her shul. All that was left to do was to call the rabbi himself and ask him to speak to a group of older girls. (I know some prefer to be called women but I just cant stomach the word). Anyway, I kept delaying the call. Somehow my fears of rejection coupled with a fear or the principal left over from my childhood was getting in the way. Then the perfect opportunity came up. I was speaking to a friend/ businessman and when I mentioned the idea he said he would call and lay the groundwork for me. within minutes he was on the phone with the rabbi introducing the idea. Without really waiting to hear more the rabbi said I don’t know that I am the right one for this. My friend countered with- im sure all rabbis have to say that, it’s a humilty thing. However the rabbi kept him on hold for a long time then came back again saying that hes probably not right. He did say to call back on Monday but I have to admit my hopes were dashed. He is actually the perfect one for this. Girls look up to him, and can take hearing it from him. He is involved enough in the social world to truly hear what goes on. This whole thing makes me wonder- is it all political? What if I was calling from a big name organization? Would he be the right one then? If this was being done in a public forum, a convention to be taped and photographed- would he agree then? So as a single constantly faced with rejection I was just rejected one more time.